Dear Cardinal Edward Egan and Members of the Catholic League,

Dear Cardinal Edward Egan and Members of the Catholic League,
Please consider the following:
1)Individuals who were crucified under Roman order were not given the dignity of clothing.
2)Less than a year ago, you condemned Muslims who made death threats regarding an unfavorable depiction of their prophet.
3)God made chocolate, just like he made stone.
4)I can see why you would be outraged, because it is totally weird and against Christian tradition to eat or drink anything that represents Jesus.

Given that the the preceding details and your current stance do not exactly line up, one can not help but to ask themselves....would this be a controversy if the artist had used, say, white chocolate?

I'm just sayin',
Easter candy fan

Article Referenced:
http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/ap/nation/4675471.html

to boldly go where no teacher has gone before...

"If you split your infinitives, I will split your heads."
-My good friend Serge, on classroom management

the arbitrary entry from university land

So, I sort of went back and forth about this. Should I save each of the letters I want to write as drafts and tackle them when I'm not reading, writing, studying, working or teaching? Or, should I just communicate them in an unoriginal haphazard list that does not give you the benefit of understanding my reasoning?
The list won. I will address them in descending length order.
So:

1. There is something decisively perverted about purity balls.
-A. When I was 14, talking to my Dad about sex was right up there with stabbing myself in the chest. When I was 17, we had moved beyond that, and our shared thoughts about sex were composed of an understanding that if Joe was ever in my room someone would die. Now that we are both adults, we are far too mature for such things, and communicate about sex the way any father and daughter should: change the subject when it comes up and fumble for the remote when something gets too steamy on TV.
-B. With the aforementioned in mind, I find it screwed up to have an 11 year old devote a whole night to NOT having sex. And, if it is the case that they are shielding the daughter from what the symbolism means and it is more for the father, he could just take her bowling or something. I find the whole thing to be an event where a father gets together with a bunch of guys from church to show off that he owns his daughter's body (for now.) Don't even get me started on the T-Shirts. *


2. There is an appliance at my house that is totally underrated. It's called a WaterPick, and the one we have is way older than I am. I will overlook the fact that it is yellow and at one time was probably white. I will take solace in the fact that it was been thoroughly cleaned a million times, and, in my mind, is as good as the day it was new. If you have never experienced the wonderful goodness of warm water and mouthwash shooting at your teeth at 10 miles per hour, you have no idea what you are missing. If you have the means, I highly recommendpicking one up. The proper name for it is a Personal Oral Irrigator, which I'm glad is not printed on mine anywhere, or I would have never used it.


3. There is one thing Canadians do way better than us. They say "washroom" instead of "bathroom."


4. Ever wonder what was happening at the teachers lounge while you were at lunch? Now I know. It was the same thing you were doing at lunch: talking trash about your classmates. And yes, they use the same language. This is not a judgement call. Just a fact.


5. It makes no sense whatsoever to suspend a student for skipping. Try to add that one up.
-A. If you agree with me on this, do not voice this opinion at the aforementioned teacher's lounge. You will be shut down.

Spring, come quickly

At the risk of sounding too American, or too male, for that matter, I would like to share with you the two things that make Michigan winters worth living through:

Bell's Oberon

and

Tiger's Baseball


Belle's will resume brewing Oberon on the first of April, while Opening Day is the second. Come quickly, April, spare me the rest of evil March!



An excerpt from a conversation with my cousin, about the Zumaya situation:
hippieange83: right. but if you had a million dollar contract, and the WORLD SERIES rested on your wrist, you would probably give it a rest, right?
MaGicMan23: yes
MaGicMan23: or just use some bengay and not be a baby
MaGicMan23: i mean i can play guitar hero for hours and then still through a balled up hot pocket napkin into the trash can from across the room at like 5 miles an hour

Dear Professor Shelly,

Dear Professor Shelly,
The paper that you will receive from me tonight will be pure and utter crap. I can tell you this much already because it is due at 6pm and it is now 3:25. You are correct in your probable assumption that it is not yet started.
This illustrates not only laziness and exhaustion, but also complete stupidity on my part. You see, I need to pull my Social Studies GPA up 3 three tenths of a point this semester in order for me to student teach in September, and generally get my life out of the crapper. This will not happen unless I receive an A in your class. Even now, as I type this, the time ticks away, and I am no closer to beginning the paper than the moment before. I keep telling myself that I can complete four pages in a little over two hours, so there is no need to worry. If this were the case, why didn't I take two hours last night to complete them? At the time, sleep seemed much more important.
You may wonder what possesses me to make such stupid decisions, and how else I spent my time. I can tell you that I have no reasons or reward to show for my disgraceful procrastination.
In all of your years of teaching, I'm sure this paper will be the jewel in the Crap Crown of Academics.
Congratulations on being the recipient.
Later,
Sorry Student

Dear Chris Sligh,

Dear Chris Sligh,
If I decide to use my anytime minutes to cast useless votes for a time wasting television program, they will be for you.
You are welcome,
Couch Potato

Things to Do...

If you are me, you should do this stuff soon:
1)Take 75 million blankets on your floor to the laundrymat
2)Get Geary to sign elegibility form
3)Contact Sanjian about 339 grade? Repeat?
4)Make appt, ask Carolyn if I can wait till end of semester to calculate G.P.A.
5)if not, cry
6)write "expericence" paper for Spitzberg, TONIGHT!!!
7)make a point to never sit next to poopy smelling guy in computer lab ever again
8)make sure poopy guy is gone before typing about him
9)Iron for practicum Wed.
10)call Mr.P about day off for Flogging Molly
11)look recipies: what goes with cajun salmon that is not mashed potatoes or green bean cassarole?
12)Do READING JOURNALS! DUE NEXT THURSDAY!
13)Begin Units. I mean, seriously start them. No. Or you are going to want to kill yourself in about three weeks.
14) catch up on your stupid bills, your fiscally irresponsable waste of space!

I'm a slacker

Dear Readers,
I have been slacking. I realize this. I do have a good excuse, however. I'm trying to graduate so that I can have a big girl job, at which time I will come home and write letters to life all day long.
Love,
Angela

Here are recent fruits of my non-blogging labor:

Test: 002 English
Status: Pass
Total Score: 283
Minimum Passing Score: 220



Test: 084 Social Studies
Status: Pass
Total Score: 263
Minimum Passing Score: 220

R.I.P J.T. York

Dear Multiculturalism,

Dear Multiculturalism,
In response to your inquiry regarding your hold on my school, I have included the following photos documenting the fact that you are very much alive. All were taken on Jan 16th, 2006 in various campus locals.
Peace Out,
White Girl

Dear Survey Nuts,

Dear Survey Nuts,
Here is another.
Yours,
Cinnamon Birch

A standard juvenile uncreative survey. I'm lazy and it was funny(ish).
My Alter Ego (stolen from Andie)
1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet & current street name)
~Cinnamon Birch
2.YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (fav icecream flavour, favorite cookie)
~Lemon Samoa
3. YOUR "FLY Guy/Girl" NAME: (first initial of first name, first three letters of your last name)
~Adar
4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)
~Blue Turtle
5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)
~Marie Southfield
6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of mom's maiden name)
~Daranwin
7. SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink put "The")
~The Orange Lemonade
8. NASCAR NAME: (the first names of your grandfathers)
~Bill Floyd
9. STRIPPER NAME: ( the name of your favorite perfume/cologne)
~Be Delicious
10.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother & father's middle name )
~Marie Odell
Wow. Those sort of worked.

William J. Gwin

In celebration of my Grandpaw's life, here are things he got a kick out of:

1)Leadin' tha singin' at church. What a Friend We Have in Jesus was his favorite.
2)Telling stories. (About growing up in southern Illinois, the navy, and General Motors)
3)Arguing with and teasing his sister Flo via long distance phone call.
4)His grandkids, neices, and nephews.
5)When his pastor would tell a joke on Sunday. (And we would, in turn, hear it each and every day until the next time he told a joke on Sunday.)
6)Monte Carlos
7)Werther's Originals (which he always had in his front pocket.)
8)Assorted crap from mail order catalogs.
9)Oprah. I forgave him of this only in death.
10)Life!

P.S. 2007, you are SLACKING.

Dear John Mayer,

Dear John Mayer,
Please get your head out of your butt.
Signed,
83er

A Conversation

Scene: Joe and Angela at Buffalo Wild Wings.
Backdrop: Large televisions broadcast John Keating interviewing Brett Hull about Steve Yzerman's career and the future of the Red Wings.

~A Conversation~

Angela: "I don't understand how there can be such a large audience for watching two people TALK."
Joe: "It is two interesting people talking about something that you are very interested in."
Angela: *shrugs*
Joe: "It's like Walt Whitman and Kurt Vonnegut talking about weddings."
Angela: "Oh. Gotcha."

Dear 2007,

Dear 2007,

You have shown tremendous potential by starting off on the right foot. So please, go easy on me.

Thanks,

Worry Wart

Dear Walt Whitman,

Dear Walt Whitman,
You have recently given me a good dose of encouragement and perspective. Though we do not have a lot in common (I am female, straight, alive, and generally unappreciative), I feel that you related to me in a way today that allowed me to accept what I have secretly known all along: Nothing new is happening to me. Though I am in some ways unique, all of my worries, fears and discoveries are old hat. I'm not alone, I'm going to get through it, people understand and its going to be okay.
Thank you,
Myself

Trippers and askers surround me,
People I meet, the effect upon me of my early life or the ward and city I live in, or the nation,
The latest dates, discoveries, inventions, societies, authors old and new,
My dinner, dress, associates, looks, compliments, dues,
The real or fancied indifference of some man or woman I love,
The sickness of one of my folks or of myself, or ill-doing or loss or lack of money, or depressions or exaltations,
Battles, the horrors of fratricidal war, the fever of doubtful news, the fitful events,
These come to me days and nights and go from me again,
But they are not the Me myself.
~excerpt from Song of Myself, W.Whitman, 1881

"In God, I find the true myself." ~Peta

Dear Funk,

Dear Funk,
Funk, I wanted to offer a word of encouragement during this time of darkness. I understand that you were dealt a low blow. It may seem like you are at the end of your rope, alone in a sea of digitally sampled techno grooves and hip three minute ditties. I remember, your two best friends, R&B and Soul left you years ago for their new girlfriends Pop and Easy Listening. And now this. The death of the Godfather.
Funk, you will get through this. You will not die. You will get over this hump, and thrive in the years to come each time someone finds an LP copy of Gettin Down To It in a basement crate or spins Purple Rain on a bar Jukebox. Sure, you will show up in the chorus of a Chamillionare single and the kids won't recognise you. But its okay, because for every time that happens, someone will hear Funky Drummer for the first time, or dig out their old Parliament cassette from a box at their parent's house.
This time of year, concentrate on the gains instead of the losses, drink some Nog, and slap on Santa Clause Go Straight To the Ghetto.
Say It Loud,
A Woman or A Girl

Dear Juliane,

Dear Juliane,
I see that you have been drawn over to the darkside. I assume your letter to me says as much...it may even apologise, or attempt to justify. I wouldn't know, however, since I can't read the letter addressed to me, since you have your blog entries restricted. LAME!
Love,
Your Sister

Pressure

A selection from PostSecret 12/3/06:

Thank about this:

Do you ever feel pressure to make a statement (about ANYTHING)? What is the statement? How do you make it? What, in this process, do you not really want to do? How does this change who you are? Do you think your statement is made? What is the importance of making it? Is it worth it? Why?