Sara Toomey-

Sara Toomey-
What are you thinking?!?!
*Crushed*

Dear tina fabulous,

Dear tina fabulous,
This is an official statement to let you know that, without being overly weird in an I-don't-know-you-but-you-are-sending-me-fan-mail way that HOLY CRAP, I absolutely agree with your comment on partofthestory blog today. Agree is sort of an understatement, since upon reading it I smiled until my face hurt and pumped my fist in the air like a 90's talk show viewer. I tend to read running debates such as that one as both entertainment and eye rolling fodder. I hesitate to comment on their utter uselessness, however, because I don't want my objection to be confused with misunderstanding. I understand fully, but care not. The other (more sinister, and I'm afraid more accurate) reason that I do not throw my comments in is that I had not, as of yesterday, found the words that precisely articulate my thoughts. Today, I found them: "one more unimportant piece of stupidness that gets thrown into the mix as a means of distraction."

Kudos!
General Appreciator
(of Verbal Venom)

*Note: The crux of Carson's point has not been lost on me. Of course, theatric laden testimonies on the 700 club are asinine. Got it.

attempt at nonoffensive blogging

To Those Interested In Joe's Would-Be Blog-

To Those Interested In Joe's Would-Be Blog-

This is a public service announcement to make you aware of what you are missing.

MEMORANDUM
From: Joe
To: Angela
Via: NSA tapped phone conversation
Time: 12:25 p.m., 05/15/06
Note: The following is paraphrased, but conveys the very same mood and content

If I had a blog, I would write about obsolete worthless air hand dryers. Not only do they not dry your hands, they make arrogant claims about themselves while they are not doing anything. Okay, you are better for the environment because you don’t cut down trees or litter bathroom floors. Neither does the sink, and it does what its supposed to do, and does not brag about it. It actually just makes me use more paper, because I have to rip off 387 feet of toilet paper instead of one piece of brown paper to dry my hands off. Air hand dryers have no reason to exist.

Yo Hippiejoe83,

Yo Hippiejoe83,
WORD UP TO MY MAIN SQUEEZE, 83-4-LIFE!
-Your Boo

hippiejoe83: but i wouldnt mind a "shout out"

Dear Jerry Scott & Jim Borgman,

Dear Jerry Scott & Jim Borgman,
Thank you for creating Zits! I have been a loyal reader since its inception in 1998, and though I sometimes wonder how Jeremy has stayed 15 for 8 years, it does not effect how much I enjoy him.
Sincerely,
Former Teenager
P.S. I love the recent panels on blogs and ipods. Excellent!

Dear Life,

Dear Life,
You are getting way too lame, sad, and annoying for me to blog about for the time being. No one wants to read letters of complaint and laundry lists of bellyaching. And so, I'm going to take a temporary respite, but vow to return undaunted.
Till Next Time,
Laying Low
(a.k.a. For A. While)