Dear United States Postal Service,

Dear United States Postal Service,

Recently, I mailed a rather fat envelope. For good measure, I affixed two stamps to the upper right hand corner to assure its delivery to my desired location. I underestimated the aforementioned fatness, apparently, as said envelope was returned to me today, with a large stamp alerting me "postage due."
This educational trip to the mailbox made me realize two very important things, and they are as follows.

1. The USPS deserves some serious royalties.
2. I'm never buying a stamp again!!

Your policy of returning parcels with insufficient postage, while considerate, is asking for trouble. From now on, I'm going to send my letters, sans postage, with the desired address both front and center on the envelope AND in the return address corner.

SUCKERS!
Signed,
The Mail Maniac